Humor Pagi

BOSS DAN PELAMAR

Boss : “Nama saudara siapa?”
Pelamar : “Prawojo pak …”
Boss : “Coba ceritakan tentang keluarga saudara !!…”
Pelamar : “Saya 2 bersaudara, adik saya masih kuliah di Jogya…, Orang Tua saya tinggal di Surabaya…,
Kakek dan nenek dari Bapak tinggal di Solo…, Kakek dan nenek dari Ibu tinggal di Semarang…, Paman dan Pakde semua tinggal di Tegal…”
Boss : “Apakah saudara dapat berbahasa Inggris?”
Pelamar : “Yes .. sir ..”
Boss : “Now tell me about your family in English !!…”
Pelamar : “Sorry sir .. I don’t have family in English…, they’re all living in Indonesia”

TEACHER AND STUDENT (1)

Teacher : “Where were u born?”
Student : “Singapore, Sir.”
Teacher : “Which part?”
Student : “All of me, Sir.”

TEACHER AND STUDENT (2)

A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’ ?”
Only one hand shot up. “Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.
“‘unlawful’ is when u do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘ill-egal’ is a sick eagle… sir”

TOOTH EXTRACTION

Patient : “How much to have this tooth pulled?”
Dentist : “$90.00”
Patient : “$90.00 for just a few minutes work???”
Dentist : “I can extract it very slowly if you like…”

NUBRUK BULE

Seorang cewek yang bahasa Inggrisnya kacau-balau suatu hari nubruk seorang bule ketika jalan-jalan di mall.
Cewek : “I’m sorry.”
Bule : “I’m sorry, too.”
Si cewek bingung. Doi ngerasa harus ngejawab tuh bule.
Cewek : “I’m sorry, three.”
Bule : “What are you sorry for?”
Cewek : “I’m sorry, five.”

BIS

Suatu malam seorang lelaki yang sedang mabuk naik bis dan duduk di sebelah perempuan berumur. Si nenek memandangnya dari atas ke bawah, kemudian berkata, “Tahu nggak, kamu akan ke neraka!”
Si lelaki melompat kaget dan berteriak, “Stop…kirriii. Salah naik bis!!!.”

DARI MANA DULU ?

Penjaga kolam menghampiri seorang anak lelaki dan menegurnya, “Kamu tidak boleh kencing di kolam renang ini, mengerti?!”
Dengan wajah tak mengerti si anak berkata, “Tapi semua orang kan pada kencing di kolam??”
Penjaga mencoba bersabar, “Iya, memang.

Tapi kencingnya tidak dari atas papan loncat.”

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